Friday, May 26, 2006

Date Rape For Dummies???

One of my more common "hallucinations" is to personify music...that is, to imagine a song or album as a person. Additionally, I am somewhat fascinated by the concept of having an "evil twin".

Accordingly, I propose to you that Neil Young's "Tonight's The Night" has an evil twin, and that evil twin is Rod Stewart's "Tonight's the Night (Gonna Be Alright)", which I think should've been subtitled Date Rape For Dummies. Read for yourselves:

TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT (Gonna Be Alright)
(Rod Stewart)

"Stay away from my window
Stay away from my back door too
Disconnect the telephone line
Relax baby and draw that blind

Kick off your shoes and sit right down
Loosen off that pretty French gown
Let me pour you a good long drink
Ooh baby don't you hesitate cause

Tonights the night
It's gonna be alright
Cause I love you girl
Ain't nobody gonna stop us now

C'mon angel my hearts on fire
Don't deny your man's desire
You'd be a fool to stop this tide
Spread your wings and let me come inside

Tonights the night
It's gonna be alright
Cause I love you girl
Ain't nobody gonna stop us now

Don't say a word my virgin child
Just let your inhibitions run wild
The secret is about to unfold
Upstairs before the night's too old

Tonights the night
It's gonna be alright
Cause I love you woman

Ain't nobody gonna stop us now"

4 Comments:

Blogger Keith Kennedy said...

I do believe there are civil, if not criminal charges that can be filed in many states if you ever compare Neil Young and Rod Stewart (at least post 1973 Rod Stewart) again.

9:01 AM, May 27, 2006  
Blogger rabidt said...

Rarely has a singer had as full and unique a talent as Rod Stewart; rarely has anyone betrayed his talent so completely." -- Greil Marcus, 1980

How someone could go from the Faces to this utter crap is beyond me. Maybe the "stomach pump" rumor is true after all. (Q. How much did Rod suck at this point? A. Hmmm. Do you mean literally, or figuratively?)

I love the "Just let your inhibtions run wild" line. Can someone explain how that works?

9:51 AM, May 30, 2006  
Blogger haahnster said...

Keith, point well taken. I plead "no contest". Although, in my defense, I will say that I merely referred to the printed lyrics, and in no way suggested that anyone actually *listen* to Rod's song. (At least, that wasn't my intention.)

RabidT, that's a great quotation. Rod had the vocal chops to be another Mick Jagger. He certainly doesn't seem to have the songwriting skills (by a loooong shot). And, Rod never really wrote that many songs (thankfully). He did choose to be the front man for some pretty impressive musicians (Faces, Jeff Beck's first couple of "solo" albums, etc.). Heck, even Rod's first 3 or 4 "solo" albums had merit. By 1975/6 (or so), he was on the pure schlock road. I suppose that puts him on at least the 30th anniversary of pure suckage (pun intended). By the way, wasn't that rumor/urban legend just about the most bizarre thing ever? Passed out on stage...stomach pumped...full of semen...yikes!!!

You are correct that "inhibitions" running "wild" is about as oxymoronic as lyrics come.

10:07 AM, May 30, 2006  
Blogger Thrasher said...

I agree with 1st poster K Kennedy -- charges will be filed.

11:16 AM, June 04, 2006  

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