Monday, December 18, 2006

I've Been Tagged Again

I've been "tagged" to share 6 weird things about me.

1. I eat a bacon double cheeseburger from Steak N Shake for breakfast at least twice a month. What a way to start the day! Artery clogging in full effect.

2. I have sleep apnea...fairly severe sleep apnea. This manifests itself in buzzsaw-like snoring, and horrifying (to my wife) bouts of gasping and general struggling to breathe in the middle of the night. I sleep through it all...like a baby. However, when tired enough, this can carry over into my morning shower. I have, on several occasions, feinted in the shower, crashing through the shower door to the floor in a puddle. Many other times, I have caught myself "forgetting to breathe" and am overwhelmed by a staggering sense of deja vu every time. Some bizarre, dreamlike state, in which I recognize everyone and everything being said, but then cannot recall the exact details after. Very strange.

3. I feel a great sense of accomplishment after a particularly large bowel movement. I am not quite proud enough to take photos. But, just barely...

4. I love to watch sports. That's not weird. My favorite teams are the University of Illinois (especially men's basketball), Chicago Bears (Da Bearrssss), Chicago Cubs, and Chicago Bulls (Da Bulllsss). Not too weird, either (though many would say otherwise about the Cubs). Here's the clincher: I am certain that my viewing or failing to view a game actually affects the outcome. Intellectually, I have my doubts. But, emotionally, I am convinced that my failure to watch a game will result in a loss by my favorite team. However, I am also convinced that my watching a game and overtly rooting for my favorite team will also result in said loss. So, I try to watch the games while striking an I-don't-give-a-shit attitude. And, I drink lots of beer.

5. I don't drink very often at all (regardless of the last sentence in #4 above). I like to talk about drinking as if I do it a lot. And, in "my" day, I did. In fact, I started drinking beer as often as I could at age 14. I drank like the proverbial fish in college. I was a huge binge drinker. I once woke up with my eyes sealed shut by my own dried vomit (closest I ever came to a rock-star death). I was pulled over for driving under the influence on New Year's Eve (actually, 1:30 AM on New Year's morning) when I was a 16-year-old high school junior. These days, I seldom drink. When I do, it's either 1 beer, 2 beers, or approximately 17+ beers. No in-between...moderation is impossible.

6. My self-image has not aged since college. I still tend to think of myself as 22 years old. For a few seconds, that is. Then, I am reminded of my real age. Painfully reminded. I'm not sure why this is. I assume it's something about the lack of annual milestones in adult life. The last milestone birthday for me was 25 (discount on car insurance).

As is my custom, I decline to tag anyone else. However, I enjoyed the game!

3 Comments:

Blogger Old Lady said...

For breakfast?

I snore!

11:05 PM, December 18, 2006  
Blogger Beth said...

You are an intersting character, Haahnster. But get thee to the sleep apnea clinic. My dad suffered from it his entire adult life, and should have gone to the doctor.

Oh, and I started the beer guzzlin' at 15.

2:18 PM, December 19, 2006  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

I second Beth and all you have to do is think about what happened to Reggie White. It's your duty as a father and a parent, to be around as long as possible for Emily.

"I am certain that my viewing or failing to view a game actually affects the outcome. Intellectually, I have my doubts. But, emotionally, I am convinced that my failure to watch a game will result in a loss by my favorite team."

I used to be convinced of the same as well, back when the Niners Super Bowl years. Now, I think it's the exact opposite and they won the Seattle game because I stopped watching.

An excellent meme and as a fellow lunch-for-breakfast eater, I salute you.

10:42 PM, December 19, 2006  

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