Haahnster LOVES Movies!!!

I love movies. I know I seldom blog about them. Sure, I briefly recounted my recent family-oriented trips to the new Pirates of the Caribbean installment (really liked it) and Click (liked it). I mentioned that I caught Clerks II on opening night (LOVED it!). I paid a brief homage to Shermer, Illinois (fictional hometown of the John Hughes films). And, we had a brief discussion of Oliver Stone's work. I'm not sure that any of that truly captured the Haahnster's love for watching movies (and movies on video/DVD).

But, the subject at hand is Guilty Pleasures: Movies. I'll forego the discussion of XXX hardcore porn. I haven't watched any in a long time. It's not something I'm overly comfortable risking with a 12-year-old stepdaughter in the house. "Porn"...I think we used to call it "porno" in the '80s, right? I'm not sure when that second "o" was dropped. Hey, there's a joke in there somewhere. I can just feel it. Oops. Moving on...Also, I'll forego discussion of teen flicks from my past (e.g., Porky's), which I haven't watched in too long to really remember the details.

Oh, I'll fess up to the occasional Lifetime Original on some sordid pseudo-romantic-entanglement type of tale. But, I can't think of specific examples, and that probably fits better under TV (yesterday's topic) anyway. Ditto for the old "After School Specials".

I'm also going to give short shrift to Plan 9 From Outer Space and Reefer Madness. Both of these are AMAZING viewing. But, they're so ridiculously bad as to be good, in an unintentionally comical way. [Note to self: Consider this an official reminder to seek out both of these titles on DVD, since you sold your VHS tapes 2 years ago.]

Now, for the film Roger Ebert has called "the worst of all-time," I Spit On Your Grave. This is quite possibly the most extreme exploitation film ever made. The entire plot is summed up as follows: gang rape followed by revenge. Man, is it uncomfortable viewing! There's certainly not the unintentional comedic aspect. In fact, the "slow" character is supposed to be funny, I think. Not that you'd feel comfortable laughing in this context. But, is it the worst movie ever made? C'mon, Roger. There are other ways to show your sensitivity to women's issues than declaring this the worst movie of all-time.

Oh, did I mention I've loved James Bond movies since I was a kid? Just thought I'd throw that in there. (That's his car pictured in the collage above.) However, I've not seen any since before GoldenEye. I think I have some DVD renting to do. Speaking of movies I haven't watched in years, there's always Bruce Lee. I need some of those on DVD, too. Still, I feel like I should write about something I've seen many times, and more recently.

How about this one? The Prophecy (1995), starring Christopher Walken as the Archangel Gabriel, is the story of a "second war in heaven". Elias Koteas plays a former priest-in-training turned police detective. Eric Stoltz plays the Angel Simon. Viggo Mortensen does an excellent turn as The Devil. Virginia Madsen plays a school teacher. And, both Adam Goldberg and Amanda Plummer each do amusing turns as characters on the verge of death, kept alive by Gabriel to be his assistants.

From the pseudo-intellectual storyline, shrouded in religious imagery (Dan Brown's favorite movie, perhaps?) to the somewhat cheesy special effects, everything is screaming out: "Bad Movie!" Well, except for the cast, the cast is pretty damned good. And, I'll admit, I find the story compelling, given the proper suspension of disbelief. Viggo is great (pre-Lord of the Rings movies) in an almost animalistic interpretation of Lucifer.

Bottom line: I love watching Christopher Walken! Talk about a guy who will literally do anything in any movie. Crazy. Sometimes he's ridiculously over-the-top. But, he's Christopher fucking Walken. Great. So, I'm declaring my "guilty pleasure", as related to movies, as being a love for all things Christopher Walken!!! See Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead, Joe Dirt, and Suicide Kings, for other "guilty pleasure" examples, all with Christopher Walken content.