Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Haahnster LOVES Movies!!!

I love movies. I know I seldom blog about them. Sure, I briefly recounted my recent family-oriented trips to the new Pirates of the Caribbean installment (really liked it) and Click (liked it). I mentioned that I caught Clerks II on opening night (LOVED it!). I paid a brief homage to Shermer, Illinois (fictional hometown of the John Hughes films). And, we had a brief discussion of Oliver Stone's work. I'm not sure that any of that truly captured the Haahnster's love for watching movies (and movies on video/DVD).

But, the subject at hand is Guilty Pleasures: Movies. I'll forego the discussion of XXX hardcore porn. I haven't watched any in a long time. It's not something I'm overly comfortable risking with a 12-year-old stepdaughter in the house. "Porn"...I think we used to call it "porno" in the '80s, right? I'm not sure when that second "o" was dropped. Hey, there's a joke in there somewhere. I can just feel it. Oops. Moving on...Also, I'll forego discussion of teen flicks from my past (e.g., Porky's), which I haven't watched in too long to really remember the details.

Oh, I'll fess up to the occasional Lifetime Original on some sordid pseudo-romantic-entanglement type of tale. But, I can't think of specific examples, and that probably fits better under TV (yesterday's topic) anyway. Ditto for the old "After School Specials".

I'm also going to give short shrift to Plan 9 From Outer Space and Reefer Madness. Both of these are AMAZING viewing. But, they're so ridiculously bad as to be good, in an unintentionally comical way. [Note to self: Consider this an official reminder to seek out both of these titles on DVD, since you sold your VHS tapes 2 years ago.]

Now, for the film Roger Ebert has called "the worst of all-time," I Spit On Your Grave. This is quite possibly the most extreme exploitation film ever made. The entire plot is summed up as follows: gang rape followed by revenge. Man, is it uncomfortable viewing! There's certainly not the unintentional comedic aspect. In fact, the "slow" character is supposed to be funny, I think. Not that you'd feel comfortable laughing in this context. But, is it the worst movie ever made? C'mon, Roger. There are other ways to show your sensitivity to women's issues than declaring this the worst movie of all-time.

Oh, did I mention I've loved James Bond movies since I was a kid? Just thought I'd throw that in there. (That's his car pictured in the collage above.) However, I've not seen any since before GoldenEye. I think I have some DVD renting to do. Speaking of movies I haven't watched in years, there's always Bruce Lee. I need some of those on DVD, too. Still, I feel like I should write about something I've seen many times, and more recently.

How about this one? The Prophecy (1995), starring Christopher Walken as the Archangel Gabriel, is the story of a "second war in heaven". Elias Koteas plays a former priest-in-training turned police detective. Eric Stoltz plays the Angel Simon. Viggo Mortensen does an excellent turn as The Devil. Virginia Madsen plays a school teacher. And, both Adam Goldberg and Amanda Plummer each do amusing turns as characters on the verge of death, kept alive by Gabriel to be his assistants.

From the pseudo-intellectual storyline, shrouded in religious imagery (Dan Brown's favorite movie, perhaps?) to the somewhat cheesy special effects, everything is screaming out: "Bad Movie!" Well, except for the cast, the cast is pretty damned good. And, I'll admit, I find the story compelling, given the proper suspension of disbelief. Viggo is great (pre-Lord of the Rings movies) in an almost animalistic interpretation of Lucifer.

Bottom line: I love watching Christopher Walken! Talk about a guy who will literally do anything in any movie. Crazy. Sometimes he's ridiculously over-the-top. But, he's Christopher fucking Walken. Great. So, I'm declaring my "guilty pleasure", as related to movies, as being a love for all things Christopher Walken!!! See Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead, Joe Dirt, and Suicide Kings, for other "guilty pleasure" examples, all with Christopher Walken content.


Blogger Keith Kennedy said...

The Prophecy is one of my all time favorite movies. Great story line. And you're right - Viggo is the devil incarnate.

I was thinking about the guilty pleasure movie thing and was taken back to a couple of original Stallone movies - the original Rambo "First Blood" and the original "Rocky". Loved those movies although it's hard to admit it after seeing all the sequels.

Funny how time shifts our tastes........

9:16 AM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger Old Lady said...

You are way too cool for school. My partner and I LOVE Christopher Walken. We will watch a BAD movie just to see him act!!!! You are so right about him.

9:19 AM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger Beth said...

Gotta rent The Prophecy with that cast. Viggo as Satan? Brilliant.

Love Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead ... but they "borrowed" the title from Warren's great tune, which rather bugged Mr. Zevon.

Excellent post ... but where are your favorite romantic comedies? And I'm pissed that your graphic is so much cooler.

9:57 AM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger haahnster said...

KK: Stallone, the working man's DeNiro? Well, that's probably a stretch. But, I'll admit to liking the Rocky & Rambo movies as a younger person. I'd need to re-watch now to see what I thought. Isn't he coming out with a NEW installment of the Rocky series?!

OL: I'm glad to see we're on the same page regarding Walken. The guy's great, plain & simple. Always entertaining.

Beth: I'll have to take more time to reflect before I can come up with any romantic comedies that I view as "guilty pleasures". Maybe About Last Night? It's been too long. I would say When Harry Met Sally, but I consider that a good movie, not a guilty pleasure. Maybe I'm mincing words here.

Oh, and that graphinc took a while with MS Photo Editor. The main reason I felt compelled to do it is that, unlike you, I HAVE NO F'ing CLUE how to stagger pictures throughout a post. No blogging skills on my part.

10:11 AM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger Marni said...

Christopher Walken scares me... he's creepy. BUT I always wind up watching his movies. Go figure.

10:21 AM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger Beth said...

Nah, you're right about When Harry Met Sally; not a guilty pleasure.

I was up at 4 a.m. trying to add those JPEGs -- and then that b*tch Blogger would only let me add four photos per post ... which is why I did a three-part series. I'll send you some upload instructions (e-mail @ so that I have an address to send them to you).

I love Christopher Walken. And Jay Mohr's Walken. Have the DVD of "Weapon of Choice"; man, he's cool in that one.

10:38 AM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger barista brat said...

i haven't seen any of the films you mentioned, so i guess know what my mission will be.

except for when you mentioned james bond. i LOVE bond films - even the horrid ones with moore and brosnon. my personal favorite is 'the living daylights' because a-ha did the title song and because i honestly loved dalton as bond (talk about a man!). but if i'm in a room full of bond-ites i tell them my favorite is 'on her majesty's secret service'. even though lazenby was in it - so was diana rigg and she is a goddess.

at least she was in the 60's.

1:15 PM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger patrick said...

I've always been a Goldfinger fan -- for Sean Connery and the Shirley Bassey title song.

1:43 PM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger Keith Kennedy said...

Well EH - I'm not sure about the working man's DeNiro but I watched Rocky the other night and was amazed at how well it has stood the test of time. I remember when it won the academy award and I was, for the first time, vindicated in my movie viewing.

BB - you are the only person I have ever come across, besides me, that like Timothy Dalton as Bond. I loved those movies because it took out the cartoonish nature that had become so prevalent with Roger Moore's movies (no reflection on him - the 70's were tough for everyone).

And I completely neglected the Chris Walken reference in my first reply. I love that guy. His SNL hostings are my favorites. I love the Continental.

2:36 PM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger mat said...

Haahnster, just to let you know, they are making sequels to "Rocky" and "Rambo", back to back while he is still all beefed up. How scary is that? As for my own guilty pleasure movies, I have to go with all the cheesy Simpson/Bruckheimer action movies of the 80's/90's. "Face Off", "Con Air", "The Rock", et. al. Something about all those explosions and gun fights with no believable plot just did it for me. I also enjoyed the Bruckheimer classic "Coyote Ugly". Gotta love those guys!

5:20 PM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger haahnster said...

Marni: Don't be scared. Sometimes CW is just funny. I always thought Willem Dafoe was another scary/creepy looking guy.

Beth: I'll drop you a line.

B. Brat and/or Patrick: What are your expectations of/thoughts on the new Bond?

KK: Good point on Walken's SNL hosting. The guy isn't afraid to poke fun at himself, which is in line with his willingness to do ANYTHING as an actor.

Mat: I've been suckered in by more than my fair share of blockbuster action flicks with ridiculous plots. Face Off is a prime example...loved it!!!

5:42 PM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger KLee said...

I'm also a total Bond fan. I loved Connery most of all as Bond, and was right fond of Dalton. Wish they hadn't gotten rid of him in favor of Brosnan. Brosnan was always smirking, and I wanted to Rosa Klebb him with the poison-tipped shoes just so I'd wipe that grin off his smug face. Huh? Sorry....where was I? Got caught up in the moment....

Barista Brat -- those albums that I dusted off form the 80s featured a-ha, so we're two for two there....:)

10:40 PM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger barista brat said...

patrick, i think "cartoonish nature" describes moore perfectly.

haahnster - i saw 'layer cake' with daniel craig before i heard he was to be bond. maybe i would have joined the "no blond bond" movement previous to viewing, but all i can say is WATCH THAT MOVIE.
daniel craig is all man - which in my mind translates to all bond. i am sure he will NOT disappoint (which of course cannot be said about brosnon - who ran like a twelve year old girl).

klee - i'm off to check your blog now. i think we will have much in common, haha.

11:43 AM, July 27, 2006  
Blogger haahnster said...

When it comes to male action stars running like 12-year-old girls, no one can top Steven Seagal. Well, I mean in his early movies before he was too bloated to run at all.

12:22 PM, July 27, 2006  
Blogger barista brat said...

you ever notice how steven segal wears muumuus (spelling?) in all his films now because he can't fit into jeans and t-shirt anymore?

12:49 PM, July 27, 2006  

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