The Only Time I've Ever Memorized An Entire Chapter In Any Book
So, I finally did it. I succombed to my own curiosity (which was, admittedly, probably driven by all the hype), and read Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code. But, that's not what this post is really about. Other than two items: #1. I'll definitely wait for video/HBO to see the movie, and #2. There are some short chapters in that book. There are several that fit on one page each.This short-chapter phenomenon reminded me of the only chapter of any book I've ever memorized in its entirety. I mean, as a younger person, I was compelled to memorize verses from The Bible. And, in school, I think I was made to memorize some quotations (the preamble to the U.S. Constitution comes to mind--or, was it the Declaration of Independence? Aww, who gives a shit, really? I'm a big fan of both.), but never an entire chapter in a book.
Oh, yeah, so back to that memorized chapter. I did it all of my own volition. It's from a great book, too. I loved it. Anyway, here it is:
VARDAMAN
My mother is a fish.
Pretty cool, huh? I still have that memorized, nearly 15 years later. Impressive, I know.
That reminds me that we had a guy in our dorm one year in college with the last name Faulkner. He was kind of a dweeb at times, which earned him a behind-his-back nickname, "Fuck-Nerd". He was generally a nice guy, though.
I saw a commercial for an upcoming movie about NASCAR starring Will Ferrell as driver "Ricky Bobby"...This baby has some tremendous comedic potential.
Oh, well. I guess I'm not in the office on a Sunday morning just to blog. Better get to work on some actual work while I'm at work...
NOON UPDATE: On a whim, and while gnawing on a McChicken sandwich that I grabbed for lunch, I found the website for the "SparkNotes" study guide for William Faulkner's As I Lay Dying. Here is their "summary" of the chapter I spoke of above, "Vardaman Vardaman states that his mother is a fish." Yes, that's correct. The "summary" is longer than the original text. That kind of shit amuses me. Sorry.
posted by haahnster at 8:10 AM
9 Comments:
Unfortunate you have to work today!
Haahnster, we need to talk about these office hours (as I get ready to pull an all-nighter on a freelance project and some work crap).
I do believe, my friend, that you have a photographic memory. To still remember that chapter, word for word, is simply amazing. You are forgiven for ignoring the necklace.
Can't WAIT for Ricky Bobby. I am so there opening night. You know his kids' names, don't you? Walker and Texas Ranger.
Never read The DaVinci Code. Read another Dan Brown book a few years ago, and was frustrated by the grammar errors. He doesn't get my hard-earned book dollars ... not when T. Coraghessan Boyle can conjugate properly.
I knew people would be impressed with my feat of memorization.
Re: Errors in grammar by Dan Brown
Check this beauty of a sentence from p. 396 of my wife's paperback copy of (begin italics)The DaVinci Code(end italics)*: "Sophie would make Remy and Silas fugitives of the London police, forcing them into hiding or, better yet, catching them."
* One of these days, some kind soul is going to explain html tags to me (before I get another "tag is not closed" message, and throw my motherfucking computer monitor out the motherfucking window).
To italicize a word in the comment box:
- Before the first letter, type <>, with i in between
- Type your word
- After the last letter, type <>, with /i
Wanna bold? Do the same thing, but use a b instead of the i
Forcing them into catching them? They're catching themselves? Well, what good fugitive does that? Sheesh ... you'd think he'd hire a copy editor (such as moi).
I'm trying to follow your instructions right now!
Since I trust that you are correct, and I don't recall attempting that specific combination of <, >, / and i (or b), I'll keep typing...
Copy editor, that's the ticket! Surely he'll be able to afford one for his next effort. By the way, I'm not saying the book wasn't a fun read. I thought it was entertaining. Not exactly The Brothers Karamazov, but fun.
It worked! Haahnster's a genius!
BTW, don't miss my irregardless response in A Day in the Life, Part 1: She Teaches a Class.
And, Haahnster, 3:30 a.m.? You're living my hours. What's up?
Nicely documented response to his "irregardless" query. I *always* say "regardless" in those situations, never "irregardless". I learned that one a long time ago.
3:30 is worse than it looks...my blog has been on Pacific Time. I just changed it to Central, which is geographically appropriate for me. My hours do suck, though.
And thanks again for the tip on tags.
Dan Brown not only bites, but he chews and swallows too.
But on to the photographic memory thing and high school. I still have the Pledge of Allegiance in Spanish running around in my head - but worse than that, I have the intro to Canterbury Tales in Olde English there as well.
I can lay down at night and have a thousand things running through my mind and start to cuss my English teacher in my head and fall asleep like a baby.
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