Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Remembering Shermer, Illinois

Bethany: What exactly brought you to Illinois?
Jay: Some fuck named John Hughes.
Bethany: "Sixteen Candles" John Hughes?

Jay: You know him too? That fucking guy. Made this flick "Sixteen Candles" right? Not bad, it's got tits in it, but no bush. Of course Ebert over here don't give a shit about that stuff cause he's all in love with this John Hughes guy and rents every one of his movies. Fucking "Breakfast Club" all these stupid kids actually show up to detention, fucking "Weird Science" where this one chick wants to take off her gear and get down, but aw, no she don't cause it's a PG movie, and then there's "Pretty In Pink" which I can't watch with this tubby muthafucker any more, because everytime we get to the part where the red head hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little eight-year-old with a skinned knee and shit. And nothing is worse than watching a fat man weep. See, all these movies take place in a small town called Shermer, in Illinois, where all the honies are top-shelf, but all the dudes are whiny pussies - except for Judd Nelson, he was fuckin' harsh - but best of all, there was no one dealin', man; then, it hits me: we could live like phat rats if we were the blunt connection in Shermer, Illinois. So we collected some money we were owed, and we caught a bus. You know what the fuck we found out when we got there? There is no Shermer in Illinois. Movies are fuckin' bullshit.

-- from Kevin Smith's Dogma (1999)

I won't get into a long, philosophical piece on growing up in the '80s with John Hughes movies. Just some trivia: "Shermer" was based on Northbrook, Illinois, a real suburb of Chicago. Northbrook was previously named Shermerville. Also, Glenbrook North High School, from which John Hughes graduated, is on Shermer Road.

Oh, and of course, a list. Gotta have a list:
Haahnster's Top 5 Movies set in Shermer, IL
5. Pretty In Pink (1986)
4. Weird Science (1985)
3. Sixteen Candles (1984)
2. The Breakfast Club (1985)
1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Now, I'm not even sure I saw Pretty In Pink. But, "Jay" says it was in Shermer. I never saw those Home Alone flicks by John Hughes either. Were they in Shermer? Oh, shit. The Griswolds probably bought their family truckster in Shermer, before heading out to Walley World. Maybe I should revise that list...


Blogger Beth said...

I love Dogma.

6:54 AM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger Keith Kennedy said...

I am also, a huge Dogma fan. Best philosophically religious movie ever. We show it each year to our youth group at church.

Well, at least we want to........

The best Chicago suburb movie of all time is Wayne's World - which is a most excellent movie worthy of mention by the haahnster.

Unless he's scared.

10:06 AM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger haahnster said...

I'll jump right in with both of you on the Dogma bandwagon.

Dogma at church youth group? Wow, that would be something.

Wayne's World is "excellent" and "worthy" (nice references within the reference, Keith). However, it is quite clearly set in Aurora, IL, which really exists. Had John Hughes been consulted, the fictional Shermer could've been utilized...

10:31 AM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger JM said...

I also have to say that it is irrelavent if it is true or not...Jay said it so it is gospel.

10:32 AM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger haahnster said...

Asolutely. Once Jay says it, you can take it to the bank.

12:47 PM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger Beth said...

Keith: I may move your way to go to your church. That's so cool that you use Dogma for your youth group. Ticks me off when people talk about how sacriligious the film us. Irreverent? Yes. But it really gets to the heart of what's wrong with organized religion today, and what we really should concern ourselves with.

[Semi-Southnern Baptist steps off her soapbox.]

2:38 PM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger mat said...

"Dogma" is probably the best of Smith's films. Truely makes you think, despite all the negative press it got. Long live Jay and Silent Bob! By the way, "Weird Science" is far superior to "Sixteen Candles" in my book. I also never realized "Ferris" was from Shermer. Learn something new everyday, I guess.

5:21 PM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger Dale said...

I love Dogma as well. And it's funny that Wayne's World sprung from a Canadian suburb and mind but was transplanted like Mr. Myers.

5:28 PM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger haahnster said...

Beth: Feel free to step up on Haahnster's "guest soapbox" any ol' time. That's why the good lord invented comments.

Mat: Isn't HH just a fountain of new information? "No blog reader left behind" is my motto. For whatever reason, I only remember seeing Weird Science a couple times. LOVED the older brother "Chet"(?) played by Bill Paxton (I think). Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club and Ferris, on the other hand, I must've seen at least 50 times each. However, Ferris is the only one I've watched in the last 10 years (approx), so it gets #1. A glimpse into the scientific method, as applied by Haahnster!!!

Dale: Myers was one of many Canadians to "adopt" Chicago, at least for a time. That whole Second City to Saturday Night Live connection, I guess.

5:33 PM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger Beth said...

Bill Paxton did play Chet. And, Haahnster, I'm chompin' on a sack o' Krystals. Just thought you'd like to know.

6:34 PM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger mat said...

You definately should check out "Weird Science" and "Breakfast Club" again. Total 80's cheese factor. Gotta love it.

10:33 PM, July 12, 2006  
Blogger Keith Kennedy said...

Beth, you can come to my church anytime. We are most assuredly not southern baptist, thought. We're just middle of the road Methodists.

But we have a kick ass band and I sing - We've even covered a few Neil Young songs. I did "Expecting to Fly" as gathering music one morning.

Very cool.

And you'd probably love the six week course I taught the youth on "The Matrix".

Yes, Neo really was the one.......

And I'm eating Krystals right now - with extra mustard.

My life rocks!

12:38 PM, July 13, 2006  

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