Summer of Thirds

The current top 3 movies at the box office are all third installments in incredibly popular movie franchises:

1. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
2. Shrek the Third
3. Spider-Man 3

And, hold on to your socks. June 8th will mark the wide release of yet another third, Ocean's Thirteen. And, all of this is happening in the year of the 30th anniversary of the ultimate trilogy's debut movie, Star Wars. OK, even I don't really see a connection there. Sorry.

But, regarding these thirds, are any of these damn things any good? I'm still stewing over how much worse Godfather III was than its two predecessors.

ATTN: Seattle-Area Fans of the Beastie Boys, Pt. 2

Picture and text stolen from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer (article here).



Beastie Boys take the Croc by storm
By TRAVIS HAY
SPECIAL TO THE P-I

For 90 minutes at the Crocodile Café Friday night the Beastie Boys treated an intimate, sold-out crowd of less than 500 to a show they won't soon, if ever, forget.

Maybe it was the scarcity of the tickets (the show sold out in less than a minute and tickets were selling for as much as $400 on eBay), the debut of new material, or the performance of some rarely heard songs -- either way, it was one of the more special shows Seattle has seen in the last few years.

The Boys -- guitarist Ad Rock, bass player MCA and drummer Mike D. -- were accompanied by keyboardist Money Mark and percussionist Alfredo Ortiz for a set of mostly instrumental numbers that kicked off with "B For My Name," the first song off the band's new album, "The Mix Up."

That's right, the Beastie Boys are more than a trio of adulterated, former brat rappers; they're first and foremost a band. The New York rap pioneers hammered this point home by showcasing one of the least known aspects of their arsenal -- the ability to play instruments -- and simply put, they nearly tore the roof off the Croc with their electrifying show.

Their talent with instruments is highly evident on the new record, which consists entirely of instrumentals and hits shelves June 26. Some of the new tracks performed were the fuzzy "Electric Worm" and "Off the Grid," a song that included Ortiz hitting a trash can lid with drumsticks for percussion effects.

While there's no rapping on the new album, there was plenty during Friday's set. Several Beastie standards were given new arrangements with guitars and drums instead of samplers and turntables.

A slowed down "Live at PJs" that appeared early in the night set the tone for older songs that were rearranged. The highlights included a funky "Jimmy James" that featured Ad Rock displaying some Tom Morello-esque guitar skills with crazy squeaks and squeals, while "Root Down" and "Remote Control" were given extra flair and pizzazz with the addition of live instrumentation.

As much fun as it was to hear songs like "Sabotage" and "Ricky's Theme" performed in the close-knit confines of the Croc, it was equally fun to hear the Beasties return to their punk-rock roots with "Egg Raid On Mojo" off 1982's "Pollywog Stew."

Another rare track that surfaced was "Honky Rink," a tongue-in-cheek instrumental B-side off the "Gratitude" single released in 1992. Other punk songs making the set included "Heart Attack Man" and "Tough Guy," both great choices for the evening.

The show was called a "gala event" and the Beasties dressed appropriately, looking rather dapper in three-piece suits. Ad Rock, sporting a black fedora, was the most talkative and boisterous of the group.

As usual, the Beasties were playful, exchanging witty banter throughout the night. At one point Mike D. and Ad Rock broke into a duet of Michael Jackson's "Rock With You." Another playful moment came when a fan called Ad Rock a pimp for his spiffy attire.

"No sir, I am musician, not a pimp by trade," Ad Rock responded in a deadpan, matter-of-fact way. "I don't know if that was a compliment, but if it was I appreciate it."

The Crocodile Café set was a warm-up gig for the band's two performances at the Gorge Amphitheatre's Sasquatch! Music Festival this weekend. The band headlines the Wookie Stage at 7:15 p.m. Saturday, performing an instrumental set. The Beasties will close down the festival with a headlining, non-instrumental set, Sunday at 10:30 p.m.

SET LIST
B For My Name
Sabarosa
Live at PJ's
Do It
Electric Worm
Transitions
Son of Neckbone
Something's Got To Give
Off the Grid
Root Down/Get It
Egg Raid On Mojo
Tough Guy
Remote Control
Mark On the Bus
Shambala
Ricky's Theme
Pow!
Jimmy James/Happy Birthday
Sabotage
ENCORE
Sure Shot
Time For Living
Heart Attack Man
The Maestro

FUCK ME!!!! I know the odds are long, really fucking long. But, PLEASE let there have been at least one taper in that small crowd!!!

Another Senseless Internet Distraction

Hey, looking to kill a couple of minutes? CLICK HERE to look up the #1 song on the day you were born. OK, so it's not exactly Earth-shattering. You got something better?

PS - "Let It Be" by The Beatles for me

ATTN: Seattle-Area Fans of the Beastie Boys

I received the following email at 1:50 AM:

A GALA EVENT

Dear patrons of the arts. To usher in the summer concerto season, we will be staging an exclusive Gala event this Friday, May 25 in the glorious city of Seattle, Washington, at a cozy little venue called the Crocodile Cafe.Please join us to "Lick Shots" and ring in this most wonderful time of year."Touch yourself."

Beastie Boys - A Gala Event - Exclusive Instrumental Show
Friday, May 25th
Seattle, WA - Crocodile Cafe

Tickets on sale Wednesday, May 23rd at 4pm:www.ticketmaster.com/event/0F003EB5E3D7E5C3

There is a 2 ticket limit for this show. All tickets are to be picked up at the venue box office the night of the show. You MUST bring a government issued photo ID and the credit card used to purchase tickets in order to retrieve your tickets. Tickets are non-transferable.

All ages
Doors open at 7pm
Show at 8pm

Sincerely yours,
The management

P.S. we have some new shirts in!
Check them out at www.beastieboys.com/store/themixup/

www.beastieboys.com

B, E, A, S, T, I, E...

Macky Ole at Deep Fat reports on the expected next release from the Beastie Boys here.

DIG the 2 videos he has embedded from YouTube!!!!

These cuts are tight, sweet, and all things niiiiiice...

Mighty Rearranger

My cousin sent me this disc a while back. I listened to it a few times. I liked it quite a lot, actually. I meant to post about it. I grew distracted and did not write the post. I recently read that a remastered edition of this CD was released on March 20, 2007. Why would a CD recorded in 2004 and released in 2005 possibly need to be remastered? I have no idea. But, I figured I'd better attempt to rectify my oversight in failing to post on the un-remastered original, now that it is (apparently) totally obsolete:

First of all, let me say that Plant's vocals are impressive. Many times they are impressive for the restraint practiced. I.e. he seems able to hit all the same notes he always did, but he doesn't feel the "need" to go over the top all the time.

"Another Tribe" is the opener, and it has a cool mix of acoustic guitar, strings, and some backwards-masked sounds. It's the Physical Graffiti vibe updated 20 years. Very cool.

"Shine It All Around" begins with some more bacwards-masked sounding stuff and a sledgehammer drumbeat that recalls "When the Levee Breaks" (for me, at least). I'll go ahead and name this the best made-to-be-a-single of Plant's post-Zep career.

"Freedom Fries" has a little "Hots on for Nowhere" (from Presence, for you casual Zep fans) electric guitar line, to my ears. Again, the updated sound, with varied influences, sounds great. And the title is cool, immortalizing what just might be the most inane term to be defined by Bush's Iraq War.

"Tin Pan Valley" just about lulls you to sleep in between its violent explosions. Cool track. "All the King's Horses" has "Going to California" oozing from its every pore, and DAMN it's great! Holy shit! For my money, this is a prefect illustration of what's so cool about this album: Plant reacquaints himself with his Led Zeppelin roots, while still adorning songs with the various other influences he's absorbed during his solo career.

"The Enchanter" has a cool, plodding fuzziness to it. At the 4-minute mark of this song, if you jump ship, then OK, I guess. But, if you're like me, and still listening with rapt attention, then you'll know this album has got you in its unrelenting grasp.

I'll stop the song-by-song review there, for now at least. As for the new remastered version, hmmmmm, I might just have to check it out.

Must Be Time For Penitence

Shelly was out for a much needed evening with friends, Alexis was downstairs, and Emily was crabby...really crabby. Luckily, she's a big fan of going for a ride, and generally falls asleep in her car seat by the time we've driven 2 blocks down the road. Tonight was no exception.

So, it was just me and a sleeping baby, out burning some fossil fuel. What'ya gonna do? I needed the time "alone" to clear my head. Work has been insanely busy, but that's OK, I suppose. The real story is that I had grabbed a CD on the way out the door, Eponymous by R.E.M. It'd been awhile since I spent some quality time with this disc, among the first things I ever bought on the CD format.

Some people loathe "greatest hits" albums, and I'll admit I'm not the biggest fan of them either. But, as a college student without sufficient means to replace my vinyl Chronic Town, Murmur, Reckoning, Fables of the Reconstruction, Lifes Rich Pageant and Document with CDs, this one made a ton of sense to me at the time. Plus, some of these versions were different anyway.

DAMN! What a killer line-up! The original hib-tone single version of "Radio Free Europe"--apparently Peter Buck thinks it's a piece of shit--man, I think it's fantastic. Then there's the different vocal mix version of "Gardening at Night," which is the absolute tits--LOVE it! "Talk About the Passion"--Hello, is there a better song? "So. Central Rain"--oh, yeah, that's my favorite (I almost forgot). But wait, Track 5 is "(Don't Go Back to) Rockville." That's my favorite, without question. "Can't Get There From Here" would almost certainly be the best song on 99.9% of the albums ever released by anyone. Here it blends right in, actually running the risk of being overlooked between Rockville and "Driver 8."

Now, I finally have a real complaint with Track 8, "Romance." I appreciate that I don't need to buy the soundtrack for Made In Heaven to get it. And, I'm usually a fan of chronological order. But, this is a bonus track at best, IMHO. After 7 straight songs that could each be legitimate contenders for "favorite song of all-time" honors, this one doesn't make the grade. This is especially true since it keeps Pageant from getting a second representative here...a crime! (In case you forgot, that's the album with "Begin the Begin" and "Cuyahoga" and "Swan Swan H." and "Superman" and "Hyena" and the fucking-a-righteous "The Flowers of Guatemala" to name a few.) Alas, the ship is righted immediately with "Fall on Me." It doesn't get any better than that.

Finally, the CD closes with a trio from Document: "The One I Love" (which was overplayed like hell in 1987, but is still a heavyweight-champion type of song), "Finest Worksong" (with a mix of horns that's killer), and the completely incomparable "It's the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine)." The beauty is that the van's CD player just cycles right back to "Radio Free Europe" when it's over...

I drove for 3 complete listens through this CD (except for skipping "Romance" the second and third times it came around). My head hasn't been this clear in months.

That's Too Bad

Goodbye, to one of the original shitbags.

Blah, Blah, Blah--F*CKING Blah

Don't let those days go by
Glycerine

MC Ren is the muthafuckin' coroner
I'm gettin' ridda muthafuckas
As if they was a foreigner

And ya can't fight the tears that ain't comin'
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everythin' feels like the movies
Yeah, ya bleed just to know you're alive

Don't believe the hype
It's a sequel
As an equal
Can I get this through
To you

"There's been a lot of talk about this next song. Maybe, maybe too much talk. This song is not a rebel song. This song is..."

F*ck Tha Po-lice
F*ck, F*ck, F*ck Tha Po-lice
F*ck the police
And Ren said it with authority
'Cause the niggaz on the street
Is a majority

Oh, I-I-I, yeaahh
I'm still alive

I'm like John Holmes
The X-Rated nigga
Nobody's got it
Any bigger than this

"This next song is the fiiirst.song.on.our.new.album"

Cold wind rippin' down the alley at dawn
And the morning paper flies
Dead man lyin' by the side of the road
With the daylight in his eyes

I'm sorry, mama
I didn't mean to hurt you
But, tonight
I'm cleanin' out my closet

NOTES: The views and opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of HH Management. Also, regarding the quotation from "Get It Togther" by the Beastie Boys (Featuring Q-Tip), please recall that John Holmes was, in fact, caucasian.

A Lotta Beer, A Lotta Girlies, And A Lot Of Cursin'

...22 automatic on my person.

Ice Cube writes the rhymes that I say
Hell to the niggaz from CIA

Down by the river
I shot my baby

Bikini small
Heels tall
She said she liked the ocean
Showed me the beach
Gave me a peach
And whipped out the suntan lotion

So, I said, "HEY, Lama, how 'bout a little sumthin', ya know, for the effort"

In New York City's war on crime, the worst criminals are pursued by the detectives of the Major Case Squad...

Gump? Are You Kidding Me?

Traveling again this week (fucking sucks, as usual).

There's a guy working at this client whose last name is actually Gump. Imagine how thrilled he must have been when that movie came out.

Poor bastard, he already lives in the middle of rural Missouri, which is damned near Hell on Earth. And, his name is Gump.

Caf-F#CKIN-feine

Look, asshole, unless that's fucking decaf coffee in your cup, I don't want to hear shit about my Diet Mountain Dew. OK, nutlick? Got it, cockslurp? OK, good. Here's the math:

CAFFEINE

Coffee averages approx. 100 mg per cup (8 fl oz).

Mountain Dew has 54.5 mg per 12 oz can.

12 / 8 = 1.5

1.5 x 100 = 150

150 is almost 3 times 54.5

Thus, let your coffee-drinking suckage of my Diet-Mountain-Dew ass begin forthwith.

Good day, all.

Wild Animal UFC

OK, enough already with this "mixed martial arts" fighting! I don't care about humans fighting any more. I want some real fighting!!!

Ring Announcer: In the bluuuuuuue corner, 12 years old, standing at 5' 9" tall, weighing in at 440 pounds, fighting out of the Republic of Congo, it's Siiiiiiiil-verrrr-baaaaack Gooooooo-rilla!!!!!!!!

In the rrrrrrrrreddd corner, 9 years old, standing at 5' tall...on all fours, 10' tall standing on his hind legs, weighing in at 1,500 pounds, fighting out of the Kodiak Archipelago south of Alaska, it's Koooooooooo-di-akkkkkkk Bearrrrrr!!!!!!

TV Commentator: Clearly, Kodiak has a tremendous size advantage. But, Silverback is compact and super freakin' strong. If Kodiak rears up on his hind legs, look for Silverback to bull-rush him, get him on his back, and do the classic 'ground and pound.' But, he's gotta watch out for Kodiak's guard. Kodiak has some amaaaazing biting and clawing techniques...

Tom Tomorrow Is The GREATEST Cartoonist EVER